Anonymous



                   The Arbitary English Language


                   We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes,
                   But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
                   The one fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
                   Yet the plural of mouse should never be meese.
                   You may find one mouse, or a whole nest of mice,
                   But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
                   If the plural of man is always called men,
                   Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
                   The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
                   But a bow, if repeated, is never called bine;
                   And the plural of vow is vows, never vine.
                   If I speek of a foot, and you show me your feet,
                   And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
                   If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
                   Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
                   If the singular is this and the plural is these,
                   Should the plural of kiss ever be nicknamed a keese?
                   Then one may be that and three would be those,
                   Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
                   And the plural of cat is cats, not cose,
                   We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
                   But though we say mother, we never say methren,
                   Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, him,
                   But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!
                   So English, I think you all will agree,
                   Is the greatest language you ever did see.

                   
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